I went to sleep knowing 18 families won’t sleep tonight

I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach

thinking about those sweet elementary school children

thinking about the safe space that a school should be

thinking about the joy school brought me as a child

the joy it brought me as a mom

every time I walked into a school to be room mom

or secret reader

I smiled

because there’s something so special

about a school full of children

something so special about the adults who have

committed their lives to teaching others

to bringing smiles to faces

to making learning fun

I think about laughter in the hallways

pushing and shoving and giggling

in the lunch line

finger painting

alphabet reciting

song singing

those tiny voices shrill with glee

playground playing

running, sweating, tagging

times tables

science projects

story time

quiet reading

all shattered by

the sound of gunfire

the screams

the devastation

for no reason

no reason at all

a place that should be a respite

from the evil of the world

instead

a magnet for it

why must our children pay the price

for the politics

the votes

the power